From Ellen Langer (January 2016 HBR.org)
Mindfulness is a path to conflict competence. Ellen Langer poses: Is there a colleague with whom you have a strained working relationship? If, by chance, you are some kind of work superhero who just answered “no” to that question, is there at least someone with whom you would like to have a better relationship?
If so, please ask yourself the following questions in relation to that person:
I. Do you notice him as he truly is today, or based on your memory of how he was last week or last month – or even last year?
II. When you have a conversation with him, is your only aim to change his mind? Or also to change your own?
iii. When you see his name in your inbox, do you already have a “story” about him, before even opening the email?
These issues get to the heart (and brain) of executive mindfulness. While we know from research that mindfulness is good for us, what seems to be missing from the conversation is how one might be mindful at work.
Stripping away all the jargon, mindfulness is noticing what is happening in the present moment, without judgment. This can take one of two forms: either “novelty seeking” where we seek to notice new or different things in our present moment, or “focus” where we seek to bring greater single focus to the present moment. The opposite of mindfulness is what we call “habituation.”
Habituation simply means operating in a deeply habitual way on auto-pilot in the ways we think and act. Mindfulness is therefore the act of noticing in a non-habitual and non-judgmental manner.
Improved noticing leads to improved awareness, which in turn leads to better options, decisions, and actions. And better options, decisions, and actions are of interest to every executive I have ever encountered.
Here are four more substantial ways to use similar techniques to get on better with that colleague:
One:
See your colleague as they are today, not how you remember them from last week. By the time we have worked with someone for a few months or years, we have developed expectations for what they will say and do. So, as an experiment, simply notice your colleague afresh. How do they look today? What is their tone of voice? What are their facial expressions? Are they really saying the same old stuff, or is there something new to be heard that you could notice and appreciate?
Two:
Notice whether your conversation changed your mind at all. After talking with your colleague, did you in any way change your mind — even in a small way? If you did not change your mind at all, it might indicate that you were not seeking new information and in fact only sought to confirm what you already knew. Bear in mind that this does not mean you are necessarily wrong — it just means you were not open to being influenced by new information. Part of becoming mindful is becoming open to being surprised.
Three:
Ask yourself what script you hold when you see a person’s name in your inbox. I’ve previously written with my good friend and colleague, Darren Good, about the “flash images” we form about people when we see their names in our inboxes. This flash image, based on past experiences, happens before you even read the content of the email, and then influences the way we read the email. While this is a normal part of brain functioning, it has a potentially adverse impact when our negative lens leads to negative interpretations. Experiment with reading the email as if this person were a friend.
Four:
Seek new and affirming information about someone. On the assumption you are human like the rest of us, there are a few people who get under your skin. Mindfulness offers the opportunity to intervene in these negative thoughts and observations. As an experiment, consciously seek to notice something positive about the person. What is one thing about this person that you appreciate? What is one thing they say that is helpful? What is their contribution to the organisation? What is their single greatest strength? Focus on that and pay total attention to that one thing. Hold that focus and make that your first “foothold” on the path to an improved relationship.
Mindfulness provides a deeply practical way to start anew – a way to clean out the cupboards of our old habitual ways of noticing and relating to others and be more intentional about developing habits of success.
Sport is an essential component in every community. Sporting endeavor has throughout the ages been an expression of our culture. Where the alternative to fair play is more gladiatorial (where winning is survival) sports people and spectators alike share high expectations of a level playing field. Regrettably humans control this notion of fairness, and some of us challenge the integrity of sport. On and off the field sporting culture must share virtues such as:
International sport is a high stakes environment that requires independent integrity units among the other efforts employed by bodies to eliminate corruption and cheating.
Proven frameworks to assert independent integrity in an organisation could be the innovation needed to enhance the shared values sporting bodies strive for. The function of the organisational ombudsman within an integrity unit is one such innovation.
“When an organisation has a system for engagement which embeds the ‘special sauce’ of Ombudsman Services, it is delivering the message to everyone involved – employees, management, stakeholders and customers – that it cares about its brand, its service and its people”.
Mark Batson Baril (click here to find out more about Mark)
*exceptions: Where an individual disclosure surfaces issues relating to self-harm, harm against another person and imminent serious harm to
the organisation. These values are those set out by the International Ombudsman’ Association. (IOA code of ethics)
Provides stakeholders a safe person to talk with about any concern. Most conflict is normal and the integrity unit will be available to help emerging interpersonal and communication problems from getting out of hand. It will tackle bullying and help people overcome most any challenge.
The integrity unit will operate at arms-length from the formal processes. Stakeholders will have confidence and trust they can raise any issue without fear of retaliation. Members of the integrity unit are not advocates or representatives. They will not take sides nor act as any formal reporting mechanism but work alongside those formal structures to ensure inclusiveness, diversity, fairness, and safety within the organisational culture.
The integrity unit will resolve issues as early as possible and without triggering formal procedures (formal procedures could include investigations, high legal fees and court costs). Integrity unit members are trained to listen, provide and receive information, identify and reframe issues, and develop a range of responsible options and new ways to solve problems.
The integrity unit does NOT:
“The Organisational Ombudsman is like a smoke-watcher, if we see signs of smoke we will investigate and, if there is a fire we will make recommendations on putting it out and preventing future fires in that area. No one expects fire, but if it does occur we need a trained eye to direct us to the source, quickly, expertly and safely”.
Dr David Miller. Organisational Ombudsman, The Global Fund. Geneva.
For more information please contact Wayne here.
The first Olympics were held in 776BC. The first Olympic torch was a burning olive branch. Olympic winners were awarded a crown woven from olive branches to symbolise peace and a truce of any hostility. It continues to be seen today as a symbol of peace and friendship.
Wayne Marriott is based in New Zealand as a conflict management practitioner. He is a member of the International Ombudsman Association and in a previous life competed at the Race Walking World Cup (1991 San Jose California) as a member of the New Zealand team in the 50km event.
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